March12th
I think this is Grace’s motto for life. Through funny expressions, witty comments, silly dances, (loud) singing, and contagious giggles, this 3-year-old loves to take the joy of life and spread it around. I can’t wait to see how her playfulness and comical intuitions play out as she grows up. (As Caroline said today at lunch, she may get into lots of trouble when older!)
March11th
Sounds hazardous, doesn’t it? But what I’m talking about is this:
26 weeks
Nursery pics and names to come soon… (and some self tanner for my legs)
and this:
I’m not sure how many inches she had cut off, but it was at least 6. Doesn’t she look so grown up??
P.S. Can anyone with wordpress experience tell me why my photos won’t publish as centered even though that option is selected during the draft? They all post to the left side.
February25th
I’ve been away too long. I’m so sorry! I’ve been out of town a lot lately, so that always throws off my normal routine. Anyway, here are some random thoughts and observations I’ve collected in my scattered brain over the last few weeks.
“And to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever. Amen!” Ephesians 3:20-21
February2nd
Today is Alabama Gives Day! And I know you’re probably feeling torn between all the non-profits in our state that you’d like to support. But if you don’t have one in mind, let me share with you about an incredible ministry run by our friends Ericka and Rusty Jackson. Sharing my passion for orphans and orphan care, they are touching and improving lives in numerous countries around the world. Their work is incredible but wouldn’t be possible without the support of donors who share their same vision. Here is some information straight from Ericka so you can hear her heart and plans for their non-profit, The Sound of Hope.
“How did a girl from Oxford, AL end up here?” – It’s a question I often ask myself, whether speaking Thai in a Chiang Mai market, greeting women at a carepoint in Swaziland, or putting on my traditional punjabi suit before riding through Delhi traffic. My life looks very different than I ever could have dreamed it would, growing up in small town Alabama. Sometimes I still find it hard to believe that my husband and I are running our own international non-profit. When we aren’t working in our office in Maylene, AL, you can find us living and working in Thailand, India, or Africa.
Back when I was a student at Oxford High School, if you’d told me I would be comfortable half a world away in Africa I would have thought you’d lost your mind. A few years later, when I was struggling in Spanish classes at Auburn University, I would have laughed at the idea of learning Thai! But sometimes, things don’t go as we plan – and I am grateful for that! Every day that I get a chance to rescue innocent children from horrors like drug trafficking, sex trafficking, genocide and abuse, I am in awe that this is my job.
Through our work in third world countries, we are making a real difference. Little girls, who suffer in extreme poverty in Africa, are getting an opportunity for an education. Little boys, who would otherwise be forced to fight as child soldiers in Burma, are learning sustainable life-skills like gardening and raising livestock. Forgotten children, orphaned and abandoned in India, are being welcomed into loving homes. And it’s all happening because someone gave a few dollars to show they care.
If you’re reading this and wondering, “What does this have to do with me?” – well, I’m getting there. You see, today, February 2nd, is the very first Alabama Gives Day. This is a day that is dedicated to the hundreds of participating non-profits in our wonderful state. Organizations like the Alabama Broadcasters Association are hoping to increase awareness and funding for non-profit organizations in Alabama. They’re also hoping to show their fellow Alabamians just how much good we can do if we all give a little!
I’m here to tell you that The Sound of Hope wouldn’t exist without a multitude of intelligent, compassionate, generous people from my Sweet Home Alabama. You see, I am who I am today because of the incredible people in this state who have impacted me throughout my whole life. It was my teachers at DeArmanville Jr. High School, Oxford High School, and Auburn University who equipped me with the knowledge and leadership abilities I needed to start my own non-profit organization. It’s the traits of integrity, honesty, compassion, and generosity that I learned from my family and my church that help the work we do succeed. It’s the poise and confidence that I gained from the Miss Alabama Program that makes me comfortable speaking to audiences of thousands about the children we serve. I could go on, listing all the organizations, jobs, and friends that have been apart of my life, but the bottom line is this – each and every person I have met along my journey has made me who I am today.
But Alabamians don’t just stop there – they are far too generous for that! I can’t even count the number of people around the state that have helped us get The Sound of Hope off the ground. My former first grade teacher used to donate $100 a month back when we were first getting started. Every time we get a donation in the mail from Alabama, I look at the name on the check and smile…because there is something special about people from my home state supporting what we do.
When people ask us how we’re so successful, my husband is quick to say, “We are only as successful as our donors are generous.” It’s the truth. That’s why on February 2nd – Alabama Gives Day – I’m hoping you’ll give a tax-deductible donation to The Sound of Hope. We may just be from small town Alabama, but together, we can change the world!
Here’s a little something that will make your GIVING experience even sweeter! Not only will your donation rescue and care for children around the world, but you’ll have a chance to get something too!
Every person who donates at least $10 to The Sound of Hope through this link ( http://algives.razoo.com/
You can choose between an AUBURN Prize Pack…
(navy handwoven cotton scarf from Thailand + orange camel bone bangles from India + SOH American Apparel T -shirt)
or an ALABAMA Prize Pack!
(red handwoven cotton scarf from Thailand + elephant earrings from Thailand + SOH American Apparel T -shirt)
The winner will be announced on their blog Friday, February 3rd.
It’s our way of saying THANK YOU FOR GIVING!
January31st
After spending a weekend at Lake Lanier Lodge in Georgia, with 433 adoptive moms, I feel refreshed. The 2nd Created for Care conference/retreat (started and run by my dear friend Andrea) not only offered spiritual encouragement and rest, but the session speakers also provided some great insight and practical tips for parenting both biological and adopted kids.
One of the jokes throughout the weekend, given that many popular adoption mom bloggers were there, was the info given that was “off the record.” Comments that could be shared in the company of other adoptive moms, but not comments you’d blog about. And on the way home, our van full of 6 mommas discussed the difficulty in being completely honest on the world wide web. On one hand, you want to share the realities and challenges so that you don’t give others (particularly prospective or waiting adoptive parents) a false impression. But you also walk a very delicate line in protecting your children and their privacy. So even adoptive moms find ourselves envying other families from the picture painted on a blog, only to perhaps discover that things aren’t as rosy as they appear.
We adoptive moms also fear sharing frustrations because we’re likely to get that response of “well you wanted this child, didn’t you??” But parenting is challenging at times no matter how desperately you desired a baby or child. I have tried to be transparent in my posts, particularly in our adoption of Caroline since there could be other moms pondering whether to adopt an older child. I certainly don’t want to lead someone into such a big decision only to have their expectations crushed by hard realities once a child is home. But there are some things I just can’t share on here. What I want you to know is that I am always completely honest and forthcoming in personal emails and conversations. So if you have questions or want to know more details, you are more than welcome to email me or ask me in person.
And now, in the spirit of openness, I will share my answer to a commonly asked question because this is something I would honestly answer Caroline down the road. I received this question often this past weekend. The question is whether I feel the same way toward Caroline as I do toward Carter and Grace. Another phrasing of the inquiry is if it’s harder to bond with an older child. The respective answers are no and yes.
Because I don’t have the physical bonding with Caroline that you naturally have with a baby or toddler, connections take longer. And because she’s not yet ready to let her emotional walls down, we rarely connect on a deep level. Not to say that my comments or notes to her don’t plant seeds deep in her soul…I hope they do and will bring forth healing and trust in time. But in conversation, there is not much intimacy from my 13-year-old. Part of that is normal for a teenager. But the disadvantage is not having a foundation with her that stems from knowing her throughout her whole childhood. So while I have love for her and sometimes feel an abundance of affection or tenderness, I know we have a way to go to develop the same intense love I feel for Carter and Grace. Older children have more baggage, more expectations, and the ability to hold grudges. Add in their eye-rolling and aggravated glares, and you don’t exactly feel like you’re winning “Mom of the Year” despite all the sacrifices you’re making on their behalf.
With Grace, it was an instantaneous love. She quickly bonded to me, wanted to be in my arms, and graced my cheeks with her sweet kisses morning after morning. Because Carter had been going through a stage in which he was all about Daddy and not so much about Mommy, I treasured the fact that Grace needed me and wanted me. Maybe that made my love conditional…I don’t know. But the reality was that Grace made it easy to love her. This is not always the case for adoptive moms, just as moms will sometimes share that the arrival of their 2nd biological child brought a discrepancy in emotions. So if you’ve recently adopted and don’t yet feel a strong bond to him or her, or if you’re beating yourself up because you still feel like you love your biological kids more, allow yourself some grace and some time. The bonding develops and the love grows. For Caroline and myself, we have a long road to travel. I doubt she would tell you right now that she loves me. But a great sign of hope came Sunday when I arrived home from the retreat. She walked toward me to hug me and said, “Mommy! I missed you.” This was HUGE coming from her, and I was thrilled that she felt willing to share that. While our love is growing for each other, we share many fun moments and times of enjoying each other’s company. And for now, I’m grateful for the steps forward we’ve made.
Adoption is making a choice to love a child (and even all the unlovable qualities that might come with them!) even when you don’t feel your heart bursting. I’ve learned more about Christ’s love in the past few months than I’ve ever known before. I truly understand unconditional love (but struggle with it) and pray daily for God to fill me with it so I can pour out to all three of my children. But when the emotion and power of love isn’t flowing through your veins, it’s hard. I get it. Don’t get too discouraged. Know that thousands of moms have experienced this same journey. And we’re all in this together. Be honest with yourself in how you’re feeling. And since we don’t always feel comfortable being so honest on our blogs, at least find a friend or fellow mom to share with. I hope you will feel validated and encouraged.
P.S. On a funny note regarding (un)conditional love, Carter came to me this morning with a huge hug and the statement, “You’re the best mom ever!” My heart melted as he pressed his cheek to mine. I should have let the moment pass with bliss, but I had to inquire, “Awe, thanks honey! Why do you say that?” Carter replied, “Because I asked for more animal crackers and you gave them to me.” I sighed and explained that even when I don’t give him what he wants, I still love him and do this in his best interest. So even then, he should still think of me as the “best mom ever.” I don’t think he bought it.
