Gazing Upward

May21st

5 Comments

Today marks four weeks of being home as a foursome. It’s been an amazing and memorable month. It’s also been a crazy one. We’ve had more freak accidents (and near accidents) in the last 4 weeks than in the last year. I’ll spare you the details, but let’s just say that I’m now constantly wavering between paranoia and prevention. Every time I hear a thud or a loud sound, I jump and wait for cries. I hold my breath as the kids come down the stairs. I’m constantly on edge at the playground. And I find myself saying “no,” “don’t,” and “stop” much too often.
As Carter nears 2 1/2, he’s becoming stronger, bolder, more agile, and more adventurous. And it’s making me a nervous wreck. Then I recalled some words etched in my mind almost 9 years ago.
“Deep in his heart, every man longs for a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue. That is how he bears the image of God; that is what God made him to be.” (inside dust jacket of Wild at Heart)
I read Wild at Heart in grad school. And even then, before marriage or children, John Eldredge succeeded in convincing me that “adventure is written into the heart of a man.” (p.13) I made a vow in 2001 that if God blessed me with sons, I would let my boys be boys. I would encourage them in their interests rather than hindering them out of my own fear.
Oh, if only living it out were that simple. I’m not sure how to balance encouraging Carter’s warrior heart and nature with teaching him to be careful and avoid injury. I’m trying to take on the perspective that if the potential consequence aren’t life-threatening or life-debilitating, we can handle it. I mean, aren’t battle wounds (aka scars) cool?

Climbing up the ladder into a treehouse…that was about 8 feet or higher off the ground.

I guess moms weren’t allowed into the clubhouse. This was Carter shutting the trap door as he politely said, “No Mommy.”

Looking out of the treehouse window.

I should mention that this amazing treehouse at my cousin’s house was built by my uncle for his grandkids. He is a talented guy!
I don’t really want Carter to become a motorcycle-driving, skydiving, bungee-jumping, thrill-seeking addict. But I do want him to run, jump, climb trees, play in treehouses… I long for him to explore, discover, and learn his strengths and limits. I want him to be wise but not always to play it safe. I want him to love with abandon and develop a fierce and passionate heart. I’d love for him to follow in his dad’s and uncle’s footsteps of exploring the backcountry of Denali, Alaska. I want him to grow into a man. I want him to dive into “a creative work worthy of God.” (p. 199) And all of this starts now with how I teach him to live and play.
So I’m still gonna be holding my breath. But I’ll give him a wink and smile as he ventures forth. Veteran moms of boys….does it get any easier?

5 Comments

  • Comment by Jennifer — May 21, 2010 @ 8:45 pm

    NO!! But you will be SO proud as he grows into a young man who love Jesus:)–who is wild and strong yet gentle and compassionate all rolled into one!!

  • Comment by Kim — May 22, 2010 @ 1:54 am

    With four sons and lots of trips to the ER for stitches, staples, and casts … I am sorry to say it doesn't get easier. But I can testify that if you follow the wonderful advice from John Elderidge's book, you will experience an unspeakable joy from seeing your boy grow into a man who is truly WILD AT HEART just as God designed.
    Precious post.
    Love & Blessings from Hong Kong,
    Kim
    P.S. Have you read the companion book Captivating? Another must read for both Mothers and Fathers of daughters.

  • Comment by Quickbooks Guide — May 22, 2010 @ 2:54 am

    Kelley, I hate to say it doesn't get any easier as far as all the “bumps and bruises” go! As the mother of three boys, they are always into something, whether they are 2 and a half or ten and a half! Raising boys is quite a job but also quite a blessing! I know you are doing a great job!

  • Comment by Quickbooks Guide — May 22, 2010 @ 2:55 am

    The above comment was posted by me, I am new at leaving comments on blogs… not sure why my name came up as “Quickbooks Guide”??
    Bobi Bobbitt

  • Comment by Ericka B. Jackson — May 27, 2010 @ 12:31 am

    Oh, I will be coming to you for advice if/when we have boys! I too LOVED Wild At Heart but don't know how I will handle the WILDNESS without worrying! haha!

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